Essays & Articles

Welcome to Whimpering Pines Anxiety Retreat Center. We are so glad that you could join us. 

The sun shines through Pinterest’s upcycled stained-glass window, catching the mirrored elements on the mobile she crafted.

You are an adult human and you are about to cry, like a baby, in public.

While many celebrities use Twitter for self-promotion, Cher just lets it all hang out. Reading her daily missives is like getting rosé drunk with your favorite aunt.

Who needs to actually see celebs during TIFF? The crowds are sweaty and the parties are exclusive. There are something like 57 velvet ropes between you and anyone you'd want to talk to – even if you did meet Kristen Stewart, she would mostly want you to go away. Just enjoy one of the drinks below paired with the optional celebrity encounter fantasies provided.

In a basement on Toronto's Bloor Street – at a comedy bar called, well, Comedy Bar – 12 women are telling each other jokes. Deadpanning Brit Theresa Ramirez heads up to the mike. “I think proposals are the last bastion of white misogyny,” she says. The other women laugh. “Because …” Here she pauses, looking a bit lost. “Actually, I don't know how that one ends.”

This is an agreement between Juice Your Own Adventure and ________ (hereafter referred to as the Juicee).

Pete's protests were useless; the breakfast menu was served only till ten-thirty.

The sunburn never became a tan.

I’ve been cowering in my house since Monday, avoiding cars, bars, and coffee shops—anywhere the radio might be playing Taylor Swift’s freshly minted and fast-moving record 1989. 

I don’t know who started the rumor that no one wants to hear about your dreams. I _love_ hearing about people’s dreams. I want to hear every single weird thing your subconscious presented to you while you were asleep

I was led to believe there would be champagne.

My initial plan was a series of interviews. I would talk to a few different people about their obscure fetishes in an effort to find out what exactly was so hot about a woman sitting on you like you're a chair or knowing someone really needs to pee or...